Saturday 9th December Results Roundup

Royston vs Broxbourne Ladies 2's 4-4 Scorers for Broxbourne were Emma Grainger-3 Sarah Evans Broxbourne Ladies 3's vs St Albans 1-1 Laura Seaman Broxbourne Ladies 4's vs Harpenden 0-8 Luton vs Broxbourne Ladies 5's 5-1 Ladies 5's Report A much improved performance this week saw the Ladies 5s only lose 1 - 5. Jade Webb on a goal scoring bonus converted our goal. Jade seemed quite pleased to have scored - a Crouch style robotic dance seemed excessive until we realised she'd got her stick caught in an opposition players hairnet and was trying to release it. The stick that is not the hairnet. Shall I talk about the game or shall I talk about my command performance as Mickey Mouse this week? What's preferable - having your head stuffed in a Mickey Mouse cushion 4 times in a week or having to Listen to the sound of another Laura Seaman goal hitting the backboard? Of course I'd rather be wedged into a cushion. Talking of Laura Seaman - I'm thinking of having her charged with Elder Abuse - she'll know why. I'm thinking of getting a new stick for Christmas - Laura will think I'm after a walking stick. One of my loads of children used to call a walking stick a goo goo - not sure why - don't know where he learnt to talk such rubbish. I'm thinking of going into therapy as I seem to have developed a speech impediment when asked the score in the 5s games - something happens to my tongue and I can't quite get it around some words like 'lost' and 'goals'. Did you know a giraffe can clean his ears with his tongue - I tried it once but found it better to use someone else's! We've quite a rest from league action which gives us plenty of time to perfect a few little tricks before the next game - I've got a little trick up my sleeve involving 3 dice and an egg cup. If you wear one of those jumpers with big baggy sleeves no-one notices. This week I saw the St Alban's umpire who chatted me up a couple of weeks ago - fortunately as he'd very old and blind he didn't notice me but did start chatting up a fulsome bush outside the clubhouse. This might be the last report of the year or might not - who knows?

BROXBOURNE

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