Saturday 18th February Broxbourne Mens 5's vs WGC 3's Result: Broxbourne won 3-0

A great all round performance by Broxbourne in which everyone gave a 9 out of 10 performance, with even Fishy not looking as though he was out of water The game eventually started when the Rutter father and son partnership eventually dragged themselves out of their beds after a prodigious drinking bout from the previous evening. Clearly greatly influenced by the training received from our resident Australian Trailly, Nial decided to spend the first half going walkabout in the oppositions half. He was never to be seen again at left back for the whole seventy minutes. Broxbourne took some time to get going and were under a lot of pressure in the first 20 minutes but with Eyton Jones standing firm, allied with some stout defensive work from Meadows and Fishy, the WGC attacks were repelled with relative ease (and the odd touch of luck). Going forward, Broxbourne were starting to get a grip on midfield through some excellent work from McDonald, Pilgrim and Deano, and with Hubble and Adams causing mayhem up front, it came as no surprise that Broxbourne took the lead. A series of one twos between Hubble and Pilgrim ended in the latter hammering in a fine shot from a ridiculously acute angle. The goalkeeper didn't see it and I doubt if anyone else did until it hit the backboard. There then followed a five minute delay while the umpire (some relation we think?) gave Pilgrim a b-------king for shooting from that angle. The WGC defence were clearly rattled and from a poorly directed 16, Pilgrim intercepted the ball, quickly transferred it to Hubble, who slammed the ball into the net before the goalkeeper moved. Broxbourne continued to create chances but turned around at half time 2-0 up. The second half started with WGC determined to get back into the game but with the Rutters having sobered up and the rest of the defence looking solid, there was to be no way back for WGC. Deano then took a crack on the finger, which immediately trebled in size but he continued to play on not even bothering to go off for treatment, unlike past multiple team tart winners the Rutters, who on occasions have refused to play on when the wind gets above 10mph in case it ruins their Rab C Nesbitt hairstyles. With Adams, Hubble and Pilgrim continuing to terrorise the WGC defence, and the Humster standing around, shouting and not contributing much else, a third goal ensued. A good build up from midfield once again saw Pilgrim in a similar position to his first goal and with the same result ensuing. The celebrations were cut short when the same umpire, who had been critical of his first effort, was seen to wave a yellow card as the final whistle was blown. The Rutters, still clearly not having sobered up, then started fighting among themselves. After the umpires had bought some calm to the situation, the end result was that Pilgrim's services will be lost until the end of the season. The Rutters aberrations appeared to be totally ignored by the umpires?! A great team performance, that keeps us top of the table - roll on next week. Man of the match - the whole team Special mention in dispatches - Fishy Player best resembling a traffic island - The Humster Greatest contributor to the aboriginal cause - Nial Rutter Team Tart winners - The Rutters (unassailable lead)

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